Passover

 

Each Passover my thoughts are drawn to the Pre-Borsalino PESACH. What a difficult time we had in those days. For eight days your menu consisted of three ingredients, MOTZA, meat and potatoes consumed in various combinations.

For those same eight days you had only one thought on your mind – Pizza. Counting SEFIRA in the Pre-Borsalino Era went something like this, “6 days to pizza, 5 days to pizza … tomorrow, PIZZA!”

Knowing if something was Kosher for Passover in those days was really easy. Everything that was Kosher for Passover had a little tag on it that simply said, “Kosher for Passover". Borsalino Era Jews couldn’t stand those little “Kosher for Passover” tags, too simple – we’ve got to do something to complicate things.

And so they did. Now we have to worry about GEBRUCHTS, KITNIYOS, SHMIRA, machine SHMIRA, hand SHMIRA, starch in the first row of paper towels and whether your flight will arrive on time because nobody is home for PESACH any more – it’s just easier to let the caterer worry about those things.

OK, I have to admit it - I’m one of the last hold-outs – a Borsalino Era Jew that stays home on PESACH. We have our own set of problems, like deciding on which neighborhood SHUL to attend because none of them can get a MINYAN on PESACH anymore. We stay-at-homers tend to eat the simple meals of our youth, MOTZA, meat and potatoes in various combinations – not because of nostalgia, but because those little tags that said “Kosher for Passover” have long since passed into oblivion.

The little tags have been replaced with a myriad of markings and certifications informing us if a product contains any of the new things that we are supposed to be concerned with. This is GEBRUCHTS, this KITNIYOS, this is SHMIRA - everything is so clearly marked that there is no doubt as to what is acceptable - nothing.

Fortunately, the Borsalino Era has brought us one innovation that has radically changed our holiday - Passover Pizza. The emergence of this delicacy has not eliminated our requirement to count SEFIRA, but has prompted a notable change in the procedure. We now say “5 days to Passover Pizza, 4 days to Passover Pizza … tomorrow Passover Pizza!”

You see, we can’t actually eat the Passover Pizza on Passover because, well you know – is it GEBRUCHTS? Is it KITNIYOS? Is it SHMIRA?

 

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